Divorce Prep 101: Smart Moves to Protect Yourself Before Papers Are Filed

Divorce doesn’t start in the courtroom. It starts at your kitchen table, your laptop, and maybe in quiet conversations you’ve been replaying in your head. Whether you’re the one asking for the divorce or your spouse made that call, you’ll need a plan. Divorce is emotional, but it’s also practical. The decisions you make in the beginning will shape your financial future, your peace of mind, and even how smoothly the process unfolds.

Let’s talk about what smart couples do when the “D” word becomes real.

The first step is financial awareness. Gather your paperwork and get a clear picture of your household money. That means pulling at least three years of tax returns with all the attachments. If you filed separately, you’ll need both yours and your spouse’s records. Joint returns are yours too, even if you never signed the forms or handled the accountant. Bank statements, retirement accounts, brokerage accounts, and credit card records should all be collected. Don’t forget loan documents and mortgage statements. The sooner you understand your financial baseline, the better you’ll be positioned when it’s time to negotiate support, property division, or debt allocation.

Once you’ve got the paperwork, get professional advice. A financial advisor who specializes in divorce planning can help you figure out what life looks like without your spouse’s income. If you’re receiving alimony, how much do you need to cover your lifestyle? If you’re paying, what can you realistically afford? Use an advisor who hasn’t worked with both of you before. Confidentiality and trust matter here.

Now let’s talk about property. Divorce has a funny way of making valuable things disappear. Jewelry, heirlooms, bonds, even family photos can suddenly go “missing.” Protect what matters. Photograph it, store it, or if necessary, have your attorney hold it until everything is settled.

But divorce isn’t only about money and stuff. It’s about you. And you need support that isn’t coming from your best friend, your barista, or your college roommate who swears they “know how divorce works.” You need someone neutral, a therapist or coach who can help you process your emotions and keep your head clear. Your attorney is there for legal advice, not late-night venting. Save your retainer for strategy, not therapy.

Finally, protect your access to money. If all of your funds sit in a joint account, you’re at risk. Even if your divorce starts off amicable, things can change fast. Open an account in your name and move money if necessary. Monitor activity on joint accounts and credit cards. Hope for an amicable process, but prepare as if it might not be.

Divorce is rarely anyone’s dream, but it is the chance for a reset. These early steps aren’t about being combative. They’re about being smart. Protect yourself, protect your future, and start this chapter on your own terms.

Always have a plan.

Need help with a plan? We can help!